As a woman who is well into middle age, I admit to secretly paying special attention to magazine ads that promise age-defying creams and lotions. Wrinkle erasers? Non-surgical solutions to a smooth face? Sounds good to me! But they’re going too far when they have Diane Keaton singing the praises of face creme with calcium. Really? Calcium?? How fair is that? Men get Viagra when they get older; we get….dairy products??! Forget it. When I hit sixty I’m going to skip the calcium and go straight to concrete. My face will be smooth as a sidewalk….and then men can really walk all over me…..
— Portlander Sharon Lacey performs stand-up comedy all across the U.S. and Canada. She’ll be entertaining our troops in Iraq in January. Clips & contact info: sharonlaceycomedy.com  or myspace.com/sharonlacey