[5]Sharon Lacey [6],
Portland comedian
A funny thing happened on the road to dementia Part 4
May I take a few moments to vent? Nothing major, but these things just annoy me ….
• Starbucks: May I please just order a SMALL, MEDIUM, or LARGE? Do I really have to do the Starbuckspeak? For one thing, it’s inaccurate. A small is NOT “tall”. A regular, medium sized anything is NOT “grande”. And every time I see the word “vente” I just want to Vent.
• Automatic towel dispensers in public bathrooms: Either those things have a sick mind of their own, or there’s a hidden camera, and someone in an office somewhere is laughing at us every time we wave our hands and the towel dispenser doesn’t work. The only way I can get it to work is to pretend I don’t care. Same goes for automatic sinks and soap.
• Fast Food Drive-Thrus: They now have a little pre-recorded question before they let you order: Welcome to McDonald’s! Would you like to try a double Angus cheeseburger with sauted onions and mushrooms today? Uh, no. But if I did want one, I wouldn’t need you to suggest it to me.
Thank you for letting me vent. And now back to our regularly scheduled program.
In a dual attempt to fend off Alzheimer’s and fulfill a lifelong dream, Sharon Lacey quit her 23 year career as a teacher and hit the road doing standup comedy. Sometimes the moments in between shows are the most memorable.