By Jen Rouse
The Short Years 
1. We can’t afford that. (Translation: I don’t feel like buying that for you.)
2. You need to leave Mommy alone so she can work. (does reading blogs and updating Facebook count as “work”?)
3. Coffee and soda are not OK for kids, but they are fine for grown-ups. (I know they’re not good for grown-ups either, but they don’t know that. Yet.)
4. Oh, were you calling me? I didn’t hear you. (I heard you. I just didn’t feel like answering right then).
5. I don’t know what happened to the last cookie. Maybe Daddy ate it. (I know exactly what happened to it. And how many bites it took me.)