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Thoughts that ruin our lives

September 20, 2010 --

The Damage of Thinking Errors…Part Two
Chantelle K. Dockter,
MA Licensed Professional Counselor

Question: So I have been working on not assuming like you recommended last month; what other thinking errors should I be on the look out for?

Answer: Last month we covered a few thinking errors, and it is now time to look at more. Examining the thinking errors definitely got our readers thinking, and as a result we got lots of good feedback. Jumping right in….

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking. This is also known as black and white thinking, which is thinking in absolute terms like “always”, “never”, or “every”. Although there is a time for absolutes (we should always look both ways before crossing the street), typically speaking this way of thinking does not serve us well in a gray world. Most of our lives, including relationships, do not fit neatly into the black or white category. All-or-nothing thinking is typically not accurate, either. For instance, if I say that my husband NEVER picks his socks up off the floor, this means there has not been even one time where he has. It is much more accurate to say “much of the time” instead of “always”. Nothing is 100%, all of the time. If our behavior falls short of perfect, we then jump to the absolute that we are a total failure.

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Placebo Pill Gives Boost to Some Women’s Sex Drive

September 19, 2010 --

Placebo Pill Gives Boost to Some Women’s Sex Drive
By Health News Daily,

THURSDAY, Sept. 16 (HealthDay News) — About one-third of women given a placebo pill to treat a low libido reported improvements in their sex lives, a finding researchers say is evidence of the powerful and somewhat mysterious mind-body connection surrounding arousal and desire.

After drugs like Viagra and Cialis revolutionized the treatment of male sexual dysfunction in the late 1990s, a flurry of clinical trials were conducted in women in the hopes that the drugs could do the same to revive a woman’s flagging sex drive.

The drugs flopped in women. But recently, researchers went back and looked at the old data on Cialis and found that not only did about 35 percent of women given the placebo pill experience significant improvement in psychological aspects of sex such as desire, many reported improvements in the physical aspects of arousal, including better lubrication, more frequent orgasms or more easily attainable orgasms, according to the study.

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Using Moral Dilemmas Effectively With Kids

September 18, 2010 --

by Jean Tracy
NW Writer

Parents, if you’d like to discuss right and wrong with your kids, stay tuned because today well talk about the 4 Point Plan for using moral dilemmas with your kids. You’ll be building character too. For our purposes a moral dilemma is a question to ask your kids to get them thinking before problems occur. Here’s an example of a dilemma to ask your kids: Pretend you saw your friend take money from his mom’s purse without asking. He’s buying candy for the both of you. Will you take the candy? Why or why not?

Print these 4 letters underneath each other ~ P L A N

Each letter in the word PLAN is a discussion strategy. Hopefully, this little memory trick will help you remember the plan.

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Top trends for Fall 2010

September 17, 2010 --

By Marianne Schnell and the The Neat Sheet Team
The Neat Sheet
Portland blog on fashion, shopping

The onset of cold weather and depressing downpours may be saddening to some, but embracing Fall Fashion 2010 can soften the chilly blow. And let’s face it, Portland: We’re more at home in a hoodie and waders than a bikini anyway, so let’s fall forward gracefully and embrace some upcoming seasonal style.

On a global level, current fashion is all about the updated classics: camel overcoats, white button-ups, polished trousers, opulent sweaters, leather jackets and sturdy boots. This new style of bold minimalism features strong silhouettes, clean lines and durable materials. So what’s the modern twist on the local level?

“Leather and shearling are huge” declares Mercantile contemporary buyer Marc Murfitt of this season’s textural trend. The fashion-forward general manager of downtown Portland’s boutique department store cites one exceptional camel coat on order from Smythe (right) as his favorite of all for fall. “It fits like an amazing bathrobe,” he said. Luxury and comfort? We’re sold! What else can local shoppers expect to find around town?

Welcome military chic, ladylike contrasting, animal print accents, higher pant waists, lower skirt hems, kitten heels and an abundance of leather and fur. While you’re tossing summer out the closet and making room for fall’s greatest trends, be sure to clear a big space for some seriously in-your-face boots, too.

Fashionably speaking, fall is hitting PDX hard this season, yet it’s leaving a soft spot to mix in your most feminine pieces. Here at The Neat Sheet our team of five fashion-forward gals has already started shopping for our favorite fall must-haves. Check out our plans to brave any Portland storm in style from top to toe:

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6 ways we’re kissing romantic comedies goodbye

September 16, 2010 --

6 ways we’re kissing romantic comedies goodbye
Special guest submission,

As of this year, begin to expect to see fewer romantic comedies at your local theater.   There are six telling signs that spell trouble for the future of romantic comedies.

1. Romantic Comedies nixed by foreign markets

American made films are often making most of their revenue from overseas audiences (Examples are the Shrek films, Lord of the Rings series, Avatar).      Because it is becoming the major profit center, producers are dramatically dropping and changing scripts to meet foreign tastes.  The Wall Street Journal reports on this major trend and notes that the biggest casualty is romantic comedies.   The Journal reports, “Studios are cutting back on standard Hollywood fare like romantic comedies because foreign movie-goers often don’t find American jokes all that funny.”   Already many scripts are being shelved under this new paradigm.

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Helping Children Manage Their Time

September 15, 2010 --

By Erika Weisensee

These days, it is not uncommon for grade schoolers to have several hours of homework per week. As a student’s age increases, so does the workload and the number of extra-curricular activities he or she may be involved in. Learning how to manage multiple responsibilities and do all of them well is a challenge for adults. Needless to say, it can be overwhelming for children.

Faced with a myriad of modern distractions, kids may not even know where to begin when it comes to time management. Parents, however, can provide the structure and the guidance to help their busy students thrive and still enjoy life.

Here are some tips for doing just that:

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Early days of the Honolulu Marathon Clinic

September 14, 2010 --

Been There, RUN That–A Look Back at the Early Days of the Honolulu Marathon Clinic
By Olivia Rossi, RN, MSN, ACSM
Your Personal Trainer

I had just spent two weeks caring for my dying father at his home on the Big Island.  He loved warm weather and he loved Hawai’i.  He had lived there for ten years and now he was at peace there forever.   It had been a time for closure and a time for reflection.  I had been there before.  Hawai’i was a special place for me, too.  I had said good-bye to my father and laid him to rest.  I was going home.

As the plane lifted off and banked in a steep left arc over the famous shoreline, I looked down at one of the best known silhouettes in the world—Diamond Head.  I could clearly see the road that skirted the ancient volcano.  I remembered and thought to myself:  “Been there, run that.”  

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Do not call this dating!

September 13, 2010 --

By Evergreen,
Oregon writer

They call it “virtual dating”, but dare I say it takes two people to be able to date?   Is that too much to ask.  This news story is about virtual dating which entails men interacting with a sophisticated dating program on their iPhone or computer and even going to extreme of booking real live hotel rooms.   I pity these poor boys who are developing a twisted intimacy with a computer program.    It is not dating, it is just plain sick and wrong.   Even this news clip  makes these guys seem cute and misguided, when what they really need is therapy.

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Study: happiness begins at $75,000

September 12, 2010 --

After $75,000, Money Can’t Buy Day-to-Day Happiness
By HealthDay News

Money can help buy happiness — at least if you’re bringing in about $75,000 a year, new research shows. While happiness increases along with annual household incomes up to about $75,000, beyond that, earning more money has no effect on day-to-day contentment, according to the study.  But that doesn’t mean you should give up trying to get that promotion. While making more won’t help your emotional state on any given day, people who had household incomes above $75,000 were more apt to say they were satisfied overall with their life.

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Let your annuals seed themselves

September 11, 2010 --

Let your annuals seed themselves
By Oregon State University Extension Office

CORVALLIS, Ore. – If you let nature take its course, it will sow next year’s annuals in a “Darwinian” garden.  Instead of planting flowers every spring, you can let some of your annuals go to seed each fall, explained Barb Fick, Oregon State University Extension horticulturist.

Self-sown seedlings will come up in the fall or early spring, when and where they are best suited to grow. Then, you can thin these annual flower seedlings to allow survival of the fittest and to sculpt the lines of color in your garden.

“In other words, plant where you want flowers, and thin out where you don’t. Let serendipity play a role,” Fick said.

Read the full article and discuss it »
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