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Five ways to get kids to open up, confide in you

November 29, 2010

by Jean Tracy
NW Writer

Discover how this mother gets her children to share their thoughts and feelings.  My cousin, Ann, is an expert at getting her kids to talk. Because they confide in her she is able to guide them. What is Ann’s secret?

Ann’s Secret:  Listen and Validate Feelings

“Rather than question your child’s feelings, listen with understanding. Beware of saying, ‘You don’t mean that,’ even if it’s something you don’t want to hear. If you can listen with understanding and validate your child’s feelings, your child will be comfortable in coming to you with problems.”

Ann is raising 3 children, each with very different personalities. When they come to her with problems, she stops what she’s doing, looks her children in the eye, and asks caring questions. They, in turn, share their thoughts and feelings with her. Because of her listening skills and her acceptance of their feelings, she is able to be her children’s confidant.

5 Ways To Get Your Kids to Confide in You

1. Stop! Look! Listen!
2. Keep their secrets.
3. Say, “I understand how you feel.”
4. Say, “Tell me more.”
5. Ask, “How can I help you?”

It’s Easy to Guide Your Children When They Confide in You.

Use these five parenting tips and start today. Let me know the results by commenting in the comment link below.

Sign up for this blog in the upper left hand corner. Why? Because you’ll find useful tips you can use immediately to make your parenting fun, easier, and successful too.

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Discuss this article

naomi November 29, 2010

Such simple questions to ask that will make a world of difference in a child being heard. One of the worst things I can remember hearing as a child–or as an adult–is “you shouldn’t feel that way.” Thanks Jean for pointing us back to the simplest things to open up our child’s heart!

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