The Oregon Book Report - Book News from Oregon

The priceless bond of sisters

October 20, 2011

Sisters, together
by Jen Rouse

The Short Years

Ok, here’s a correction to an earlier post: I was worried about one thing with Lucy starting school. I was worried about how she would get along with her sister.

My oldest daughter is a very social kid. She has a lot of friends, and she loves to play with all of them. My second-born is quieter–more inclined to stick with a particular friend or two. She was starting kindergarten in a school where she knew no one, and I knew that come recess-time, she’d be looking to her big sister for guidance and playmate. I was afraid that, in turn, my oldest would want no part of the little kindergartener tagging along behind her, and that hurt feelings would result all around.

I talked with Beth about this. I told her that it would be very nice of her if she would play with Lucy, show her around, and help her make friends. I didn’t want to burden her, or make her into a babysitter, so I told her that after awhile I was sure Lucy would make her own friends and feel more comfortable–but that maybe for the first few days at least, they could play together at recess.

Flash forward a month, and it’s mid-October and I’m heading home after a PTC meeting. I’m walking across the playground just as I see Beth’s class come out for recess. I stop, waiting for Beth to spot me, but she doesn’t go to the playground with the rest of the second and third graders. Instead, she stops and turns to face the door, just standing still and staring at it.

Instantly, my mother-heart is wondering. What happened? Does she not feel good? Is she sad about something? Did she have a fight with her friends?

I step up behind her and give her a hug, and once she’s recovered from her rapture at seeing me at school during the day, I ask her: “Why aren’t you playing with your friends?”

She looks at me like I’m dumb. “I’m waiting for Lucy’s class to come out.”

“Oh! Well, you know, it is okay to play with other people sometimes,” I tell her. “Maybe she has other kindergarteners she wants to play with too.”

Again with the don’t-you-get-it? look. “But I just like to play with Lucy all the time!”

And then Lucy’s class came out, and I hugged them both, and they ran off to play. Together.

This probably won’t last. I am fully prepared to see my girls at each others’ throats throughout portions of their lives. In fact, I witness the tears and the rage and the fussing at each other daily. But right now? They’re actually friends.

I had my girls 22 and 24 months apart on purpose–because I wanted them to be friends. Playmates. Companions. Yes, having daughters who were 4 years old and 2 years old and newborn was very, very challenging at the time. But now I feel like rubbing my hands together in glee. It’s working!

When I see them walk to school side by side, blonde ponytails bobbing and pink backpacks bouncing, identical from behind except for the few inches of height Beth’s got on Lucy, I can’t help but smile. When Lucy tells me about her day and says, “And I saw Beth in the hallway and we hugged,” it melts my heart.

Evie’s in on it too, at home. Three kids playing together does have a different dynamic than just two, and there are all kinds of sisterly schisms, loyalties and allegiances that shift daily. But oftentimes, they run in a pack. A trio. People see them and say, “Look! It’s the Rouse Girls!” as though they are their own entity. Together, they create a unit that’s bigger than each of their three single selves. A cord of three strands, one that is not easily broken.

  
Print This Post Print This Post    Email This Post Email This Post

Discuss this article

hapypacy October 20, 2011

Your story brought tears to my eyes. I remember those same sort of concerns when my two sons were young. Now they are grown and off to college. They are not only friends, but roommates, and…thankfully the conscience for each other at times when the mom can no longer hover over head to wipe the tears or the dad can no longer be the voice of responsibility. Thank you for the memories. You’ve obviously been a wonderful model of what friendship means.

Karen R. October 20, 2011

Those are not just youthful moments of innocence, they are the early spring shoots of lifetime sister bonds. Yes they will be at each others throats sooner than we expect, but what is happening now is making a sweet genuine difference that will last for a lifetime with each other.

GB October 20, 2011

Jen must be an author because in just a few sentences she has me roped in and full of drama and suspense on what will happen to these kids and I do not even know who they are. Glad she and we witnessed an authentic sister life moment.

Poetry for all October 22, 2011

This post reminded me of this poem I once saw, here is an exceprt.

The Importance Of A Sister
By Shiv Sharma (c)

A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.

A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.

DianeB October 23, 2011

Thank you, Jen, for reminding me how much I owe to my big sister. I was the Lucy in our family of three girls (brunette, not blond!) and my sister is only 18 months older. She’s always been my best friend and has always been there for me – not an easy task most of the time!! And today, on my 60th birthday, she’s still doing it. Thanks for reminding me how much I love her!

Jen @ The Short Years October 24, 2011

Thanks, ladies, for the comments and the assurance that a lifetime later, those sisterly bonds I see will still be there. I treasure my relationship with my sister, and one of my great hopes for my girls is that they will too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please answer the following question to confirm that you are a real person: *

Latest Headlines

Subscribe to Weekly Updates

 

Top Business News

 

Top Natural Resource News

 

Top Faith News

 

Copyright © 2017, OregonReport. All Rights Reserved. | Terms of Use - Copyright - Legal Policy | Contact Oregon Report

Stay Tuned...

Stay up to date with the latest political news and commentary from Oregon Women's Report through weekly email updates:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Prefer another subscription option? Subscribe to our RSS Feed, become a fan on Facebook, or follow us on Twitter.

RSS Twitter Facebook

No Thanks (close this box)