The Oregon Book Report - Book News from Oregon

Is “Shirtless Guy” going green?

December 1, 2011

Breaking News
by Jen Rouse

The other day I drove past shirtless guy’s house. It was a cold November day, grey and wet, and there was a man outside raking leaves.

This man was wearing a green T-shirt.

If this is not blowing your mind right now, go back and read about my neighborhood semi-nudist.

I drove past two more times that day, staring at the house. Was that the right house? Was I sure? Had I just imagined it? And every time, I came up with the same conclusions.

Yes, that was shirtless guy’s house. And yes, a man wearing a shirt had been outside raking leaves.

I have so many unanswered questions now.

Was that even the same guy? His distinguishing characteristic in my mind has always been his big hairy naked chest. With a T-shirt on…I just can’t be sure. Maybe it was a relative or a friend or a neighbor. Maybe shirtless guy died of pneumonia and a regular, shirt-wearing individual bought his house. I can’t be sure.

If it *was* shirtless guy, what could have happened to make him start going about fully clothed? Did the neighbors complain enough? Did someone leave a basket of T-shirts on his porch? Did his wife wake up one morning and say, “Honey, I am so tired of looking at your grey, hairy belly that if you don’t put a shirt on today I’m out of here?”

Or maybe, just maybe, he suddenly, after all these years, developed sensation in the nerves of his chestal area. Maybe he went outside one morning and said to himself, “Hey, it’s cold out here. I think maybe I’ll put a shirt on today.”

What a novel idea.

Print This Post Print This Post    Email This Post Email This Post

Discuss this article

noname December 1, 2011

His wife read your blog post!

Desiree December 1, 2011

Sometimes we try to brave the elements, but Oregon can always out-rain and out-cold my sensitivities. Maybe his too.

Nora L. December 1, 2011

Depends on shirt. If it was a tank top, he would be almost without half a shirt.

me December 2, 2011

T.M.I everyone

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please answer the following question to confirm that you are a real person: *

Latest Headlines

Subscribe to Weekly Updates


Top Business News


Top Natural Resource News


Top Faith News


Copyright © 2019, OregonReport. All Rights Reserved. | Terms of Use - Copyright - Legal Policy | Contact Oregon Report

Stay Tuned...

Stay up to date with the latest political news and commentary from Oregon Women's Report through weekly email updates:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Prefer another subscription option? Subscribe to our RSS Feed, become a fan on Facebook, or follow us on Twitter.

RSS Twitter Facebook

No Thanks (close this box)