So…I peed your bed….

As a mom of three crazy crack monkeys boys life is never dull. As I type I am watching my youngest ride his older brother’s bike commando and shoeless (that can’t be good on the “boys”)… I don’t know if it’s because they are boys or because they are MY boys that they are soo stinking crazy. If it can be spilled it will be, if it can be broken… IT IS!!! The other day I had reached my limit for outrageous destruction by about noon, I was exhausted and just plain nasty that day. I sat down with the boys to enjoy an episode of Super Why when the unthinkable happened. One eye at time I slowly started to fall asleep. I should have just gotten up right then, but I was seduced by the thought of possibly ridding myself of the cup of witch that had been dumped in my lap earlier that day. So, while my kids were in TV zombie mode, I gave in and fell into a zombie like slumber of my own. A few minutes later (well I actually am not sure how many minutes… enough time had passed for me to have a steady stream of drool flowing from the side of my mouth… ) Anyway, I woke up to glass crashing, apparently a porcelain candle stick had gotten in the way of boys’ real life angry birds game…. It got me thinking about how many times I have been woken up to disaster striking… and usually before 5 am.

Here are 5 ways I never want to be woke up again…. (ya right, sadly this is how we roll:))

1. “Moooooooom I have blood”: followed by me jumping out of bed at the butt rack of dawn in a panicked frenzy only to realize Crew has picked a scab and has a pinpoint size drop of blood on his leg…

2. “Mooooom, Thatcher and Crew are making their own steamers, you’d better get in here”: Followed by me scrambling for towels because apparently it takes 3 boxes of $3 hazelnut milk to make a steamer.

3. No words… just the warm then cold and very wrong sensation that my bed is wet. Apprently it’s not enough to pee in their own beds… it’s custom for my youngest to then come in and pee mine as well.

4. Mom… I’m making my own eggs this morning… how do I turn the stove on.. thatcher and crew already cracked the eggs….

5. “Moooom, I’m gonna throw UUuuuuugggghhhhhppppp…. Followed by a raging river of man puke directly over my head, in my mouth and eyes…. not even joking, this is still the grossest thing I have ever ever ever experienced as a mother!!!

OK so maybe these aren’t that horrible, but I have a mentioned most days my kids are awake before dawn?!?!?! You would think after 7 years of kids not sleeping through the night and getting up at ungodly hours of the morning I would have evolved into a morning person, but no luck. Without fail every time (aka almost every day), I wake up to chaos not knowing where or who I am and whose children just made the gigantic mess….

To end on a bright note… my boys are amazing… they make me laugh and fill me with so much love and joy it hurts… the other way I get woken up is by them yodeling (the first one up likes to yodel until the rest of the house is yodeling too to show we’re awake.) and of course even if he’s peed my bed my little guy will roll over put his little arms around my neck and say I wuv you mom… seriously… there is nothing better… those moments cover the mess and disaster and unending bodily fluids… those moments are why I wanted to be a mom and usually thinking about them is what keeps me from eating my children:)

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever woken up to???

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