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September 11, 2013
by Brittanie Gordon
Thoughts on being a “working” mom
I hate to call it a working mom, cause really all moms are working moms, for this I am referring to working out of the home.
I was probably a HORRIBLE friend to my mom friends that went back to work after baby, when kids were in school, when their husbands lost their job. Whatever the path was that lead them back to work while I was still a Stay At Home Mom, I wish I could go back and not be a crappy friend.
Hindsight is 20/20, and I can tell you being on the other end of this friendship where I am away from home has been SO hurtful in some aspects. Things I wish I knew before, or that I wish my friends knew but that I feel like a whiner for bringing up. But I am sure I can’t be the only one feeling these things either.
~We are STILL moms, our kids are still the same age, going through many of the same things. We can still chat 4 year old attitude, learning to count, non napping, new favorite things to do, first day of school outfits.
~We don’t work away from home 24 hours a day, really it’s only 8 hours and not even everyday.
~We can take time off for play dates or mom dates but now that we haven’t been invited for weeks/months we aren’t going to initiate it.
~ It feels REALLY high school clique like when women stop talking to you because you have a job. And if that’s not why you haven’t initiated a conversation in weeks with that friend that is working away from home, please speak up and tell them what the hold up is, chances are your friend is stewing inside over it.
~I don’t live and breathe work, I am the same as I was before with just a little less free time, and more on my plate.
~We don’t think any less of you for NOT working out of the home, not even a little bit
~We still have dishes, vacuuming, laundry and those other home things and we still want to hear about ways to make it easier and cheer you on for overcoming Mt.Laundry for 3 hours whole before there is more dirty clothes.
~We still make cookies and snuggle our babies, and read bedtime stories. We don’t turn off being a mom as soon as we get a paycheck.
I have never been one of those people to pursue a friendship that seems one way, or try to be in the clique, this whole thing feels weird. I do have a lot more on my plate these days but all those things that were important before are still important and it’s hard to figure out this balance AND deal with mom drama, so I just don’t. Maybe you have a friend who is back to work, don’t think they don’t have lots in common with you still.
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