Pet names my cats would call me if they spoke English

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Amy Miller,
Southern Oregon writer
Writer’s Island Blog

Pinky
My Big Hairless Pear
Boring Monstrosity
Flatface
Inedible Biped
Sissy
Doesn’t-Lick-Back
Pokey
Strictly Ornamental Nose
Depressed-y-Doodle
Leadfoot
Not-Worth-Killing
Foody