Some people fantasize about sex, success, a new car, ice cream, and all the usual sorts of things humans dream about. I do too, but last week I found myself fantasizing about time. Having more of it. And that’s when I realized I’ve fallen into a vicious circle of sorts.
Like just about everyone else I know, I’m juggling obligations and creativity. As a writer, it’s sometimes hard to know where one starts and the other ends. In the late spring I fantasized about all the time I would have during the dog days of summer. I didn’t grow a garden this year so I would have more time. Yet the stretch of days to just be and focus didn’t happen. My energies, scattered all over the place, have been divided by new opportunities and finishing old projects.
Suddenly, I found myself luxuriating in the idea of winter being my time to cocoon, to be one with my muse. Yes, winter holds a wealth of possibilities! Not summer. How foolish was I to think I might actually get everything I wanted to accomplish done this summer?
And then I realized my error. It’s not how much time you have, it’s how you allocate it. I had to make time for the things that are most important.
I decided to make time for my marriage, time to nurture my muse, and some time just for me.
So maybe, with the days of summer drawing to a close, I won’t make all my self-imposed deadlines, won’t lose the seven pounds I put on this summer by Sept 21st, and maybe my husband won’t get around to putting Moss Out on the roof either. Because I’ve had other things to do. Like loving my hubby, jotting down some new ideas, and standing in line for thirty minutes at Salt and Straw and ordering their chef-created Thai ice cream that left my mouth burning and my taste buds craving another rich spoonful. It’s good to be human.