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Comedy Moment Monday: Calcium Face Creme?

December 8, 2008

By Sharon Lacey, Portland comedian

As a woman who is well into middle age, I admit to secretly paying special attention to magazine ads that promise age-defying creams and lotions.  Wrinkle erasers?  Non-surgical solutions to a smooth face?  Sounds good to me!  But they’re going too far when they have Diane Keaton singing the praises of face creme with calcium.  Really?  Calcium??  How fair is that? Men get Viagra when they get older; we get….dairy products??!  Forget it.  When I hit sixty I’m going to skip the calcium and go straight to concrete.  My face will be smooth as a sidewalk….and then men can really walk all over me…..

Portlander Sharon Lacey performs stand-up comedy all across the U.S. and Canada. She’ll be entertaining our troops in Iraq in January. Clips & contact info: or

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Kay December 8, 2008

Great addition to the site. Starts the week off right…with a smile on our face.

Suz December 8, 2008

Diane Keaton is a little bit loopy anyways

no name December 8, 2008

Obviously the side effect of applying too much calcium to one’s head

(..and maybe the additional result of being filmed in really awful B-rated movies like Mad Money and the Family Stone)

Gienie December 8, 2008

Sometimes I have a problem with Diane Keaton’s hair! Not sure I could take beauty tips from one whose hair is crazy. Know what I mean?

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