Three things in life that drive me crazy

Sharon Lacey,
Portland comedian
A funny thing happened on the road to dementia Part 4

May I take a few moments to vent?  Nothing major, but these things just annoy me ….

• Starbucks: May I please just order a SMALL, MEDIUM, or LARGE?  Do I really have to do the Starbuckspeak?  For one thing, it’s inaccurate.  A small is NOT “tall”.  A regular, medium sized anything is NOT “grande”.  And every time I see the word “vente” I just want to Vent.

• Automatic towel dispensers in public bathrooms: Either those things have a sick mind of their own, or there’s a hidden camera, and someone in an office somewhere is laughing at us every time we wave our hands and the towel dispenser doesn’t work.  The only way I can get it to work is to pretend I don’t care.   Same goes for automatic sinks and soap.

• Fast Food Drive-Thrus: They now have a little pre-recorded question before they let you order:  Welcome to McDonald’s! Would you like to try a double Angus cheeseburger with sauted onions and mushrooms today?  Uh, no.  But if I did want one, I wouldn’t need you to suggest it to me.

Thank you for letting me vent.  And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

In a dual attempt to fend off Alzheimer’s and fulfill a lifelong dream, Sharon Lacey quit her 23 year career as a teacher and hit the road doing standup comedy. Sometimes the moments in between shows are the most memorable.

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